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*Sniff sniff*. Smell that? It’s the smell of desperation — the smell of a ninja who knows he’s been caught. Zlickrick above found a piece of loot in his mailbox that was supposed to go to someone who won a raid roll, but instead he put it on. And now, confronted, you can almost see the desperation in his text. Unfortunately, once an item is soulbound, it’s pretty much lost. But still, he knows he’s been caught. And GW knows it, too. That story and more in this week’s Guildwatch, bringing you drama, downed, and recruiting news from around the realms. Send your guild’s information (or any drama you’ve spotted) to wowguildwatch@gmail.com, and click on to wow goldread this week’s column. DRAMA Too Cute To Die on Trollbane hasn’t had a lot of drama lately, but they did have a big hide-and-seek event in Darnassus recently: a level 80 Blood Elf Lock decided to hide from them, and they had a good two hours chasing him down while he used potions and skills to stay hidden. They’re calling it the first annual “Horde Hunt” — fun idea. If your guild is looking for something fun to do, maybe find someone

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Patch 3.1.1a, which we previously covered last week, will be coming during tomorrow’s extended maintenance. This is according to a small update Crygil gave this evening. While we don’t have the full patch notes yet, Patch 3.1.1a will just correct small issues that cannot be hot-fixed into the game. Notably, the tooltip to the Paladin’s Exorcism ability will be updated to reflect that it cannot be used on players. Realms will be down from 3:00 a.m. PDT / 6:00 a.m. EDT until 11:00 a.m. PDT / 2:00 p.m. EDT. We’ll let you know when they’re up, and if there will be any additional extended maintenance.

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Karthis at Of Teeth and Claws raises an interesting question concerning “helper” mods for DPS rotations — should they be considered cheating? He observes that, whie they may be a godsend for classes and specs with more difficult rotations, many of them remove the need to think about anything other than following the mod’s instructions on what skill to use and when. He writes, “If a chimpanzee was trained to press the key that corresponded to the skill that Face Mauler popped up, then it would put out insane DPS without understanding even the very basics of what it means to be a feral cat.”** The issue leaves me somewhat torn. There’s no way around the fact that Karthis is right; mods like these — and they exist for several classes — make it possible for players to do great, or at least acceptable, DPS without understanding the class and spec they play. They also have the side effect of encouraging tunnel vision on the mob/s rather than what’s happening in the raid (and, as someone who plays a tank, I must admit I hate dealing with an utterly oblivious DPS). Nobody wants to see a lazy player rewarded with excellent DPS

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In honor of Noblegarden, we’re running a special-edition OverAchiever today, dedicated to what you’ll need for the meta-achievement Noble Gardener. Should you finish, not only do you get a spiffy new title, but you also get to check off another set of achievements toward What A Long, Strange Trip It’s Been, the yearlong achievement-palooza rewarding a 310% speed Violet Proto-Drake. Because Noblegarden has been extensively reworked, most of what you’ll be doing this year is completely new, and some of this guide is going to be comprised of educated (or not-so-educated) guesses as to the difficulty of the achievements on the live realms, and tips on how to get them done. I’ll let you know if I just plain don’t know something or have to hazard a guess based on PTR information, but fortunately most of the holiday is pretty straightforward. We’re only going to cover the achievements you need to worry about for the meta, as everything else you can achieve is really based on luck and doesn’t count toward Noble Gardener. Let’s get started! First things first; these are the basics of the new and improved Noblegarden: As with

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Two Bosses Enter … but only One Boss Leaves, in WoW Insider’s series of fantasy death matches. This season’s bosses come from the five-man instances of Wrath of the Lich King. On the heels of a Zuramat the Obliterator (Violet Hold) victory this week over Hadronox of Azjol-Nerub, we bring you this week’s fantasy deathmatch: the Maiden of Grief from Halls of Stone versus Prince Taldaram of Ahn’Kahet: The Old Kingdom. Can you predict the outcome? The usual rules apply: Assume that these foes share similar levels, health pools and damage output. The battle will take place in neutral territory; Prince Taldaram will not be protected by a force field that must be taken down before battle. Focus your debate on the three S’s: Style, Story and Scale. Don’t get caught up in game mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter. Consider the flavor each villainous gladiator brings to bear, leave your comment on what you think would happen and why, and then cast your vote for who you think would come out on top. Maiden of Grief You shouldn’t have come…now you will die! The Maiden of Grief, who resides in the Halls of

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Let’s get real here for a second. When I signed off at midnight, the US realms were only just started to pop back up. Did you honestly think we here in Europe were going to get away scott free? You did? Oh dear, let’s not go there, eh? Folks have been reporting extended maintenance and so we’re now looking at 3pm CET. All we need to do now is cross our digits that Blizzard managed to fix whatever was ailing the US realms before starting to roll out 3.1 on our severs. Needless to say. I’ll be keeping you guys in the loop should things change. So in the meantime, as your waiting, why not enter our EU loot card competition? Your could also check out our 3.1 FAQ and start planning your new primary and secondary specs using Wowhead’s new calculator. Not finished patching yet and having issues? Try this post. Hopefully we should have a smoother ride of it but I’ll be keeping you updated nevertheless. UPDATE: As of 3pm CET, the realms are slowly starting to come back up. Some of the most popular ones – Vek’nilash amongst them – keep going offline, probably due to being hammered by players trying to login. Hang on in there. UPDATE:

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Everybody loves achievements, right? …no, I guess not. Some people like achievements, right? Yes! Patch 3.1 brings a lot of cool stuff for you guys to do as well, so here’s all of it in a nice little package for you to pick through. Have fun! There’s already a few people ready to pick up the Insane title, but we’d like to assume most of you are slightly less insane. Only slightly. For you guys, we have a get to completing Insane in the Membrane. As of today, the Black and Plagued Proto-Drakes are gone for good. A batch of brand new achievements have been added to the Noblegarden event, which has been extended to a week and will begin on April 26th. Note that you will need these for What a Long, Strange Trip Its Been. We’ve posted an early version of Ulduar’s achievements, too! Chef de Cuisine is getting a bit easier for Alliance players. They can get their hands on Dig Rat Stew on their own now! In exchange, Lil’ Game Hunter is becoming easier for the Horde. Enjoy your Sprite Darters and Westfall Chickens! The Argent Tournament has a load of its own achievements as well. If you enjoyed this stuff, keep an eye on our achievements

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Last month, Blizzard released a new add-on development policy. There were several contentious points in it; notably, authors can no longer charge money for add-ons, nor can they solicit donations in-game (asking for donations on web sites is still OK). In-game advertising is also not allowed. In the wake of the announcement, the authors of several popular mods announced that they would no longer be developing and/or distributing their addons, while other addons (Carbonite being a notable example) are switching to an entirely free model. The news today is that Blizzard is giving a 60-day grace period for developers to comply with the new model. That’s 60 days from the release of the new add-on policy, which was March 20. So everyone has until May 19 to get their ducks in a row and stop charging for addons, showing ads, or asking for donations in-game. People found violating the policy after May 19 will be “contacted directly” by Blizzard and, I assume, asked politely to stop.

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Reader comments – ahh, yes, the juicy goodness following a meaty post. [1.Local] ducks past the swinging doors to see what readers have been chatting about in the back room over the past week. Observations from running a Naxx-25 PuG “Our readers are a bunch of smartasses, but oh, how I love them,” cried Allison Robert after receiving this e-mail (no, technically not a [1.Local] reader comment) addressing point #2 of her “Observations from running a Naxx-25 PuG”: 2. Trying to explain Heigan to new raiders apparently sounds like you’re reciting The Decameron as translated from Esperanto into Farsi and back again. “So why wouldn’t one just use the normal 1995 translation of the Decameron from Italian to Esperanto, instead of stupidly going through Farsi?!” wrote mankso. “Giovanni Boccaccio: Dekamerono, unuaj tri tagoj. El la itala tradukis Giulio Cappa, Perla Martinelli kaj Gaston Waringhien. Eld. Kooperativo de Literatura Foiro, Prilly, 1995. 320 pagoj kudre binditaj. ISBN 3-906595-10-2. Prezo ce FEL: 1380 BEF “Little wonder you couldn’t explain Heigan! ” Nerd. PETA really to protest seal

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We here at WoW Insider are on a Daily Quest to bring you interesting, informative and entertaining WoW-related links from around the blogosphere. Roleplayers (or generally creative types), you have one more day to enter Letters from Birdfall’s contest for a Sandbox Tiger! Clicking versus hotkeys has been a big topic ’round the blogs for the last couple of days, and Critical QQ is here to teach you how to stop being a clicker in 3 easy steps. Kill Ten Rats walks us through the daily quests of our real lives. You probably won’t want to watch view all of this in one sitting, but if you have an hour and a half to spare you might want to check out this video of every single current boss WoW has to offer. As the GM of my guild, I’m a fan of The Wordy Warrior’s list of 10 ways to make your guild leader love you. I especially like the part about cybering with the officers and giving them gold and free consumables. What up, ladies?

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